somebody pinch me so i know this is real. a wedding dress was purchased today. MY wedding dress. a beautiful dress for a ridiculously good price.
and now i sit with freshly painted toenails (it’s the little things in life, okay?) browsing online for chandeliers and pendants. wait — what happened? didn’t i used to make fun of women who only had house projects to keep conversation going with, and here i am writing about the one i’m suddenly a major decision-maker of? things i once scoffed at… suddenly i’m in love with.
so, moral of the story? don’t make fun of anything. you simply don’t understand until you’re there yourself, so use some self-control for the time being and keep your mouth shut.
anyway.
while i browse the littlest sister sings along to her country songs while making her amazing granola (don’t be jealous but it’s the best and i get to eat it every morning. booya.). have i mentioned how my heart is already starting to miss things? i look at this worn out floor, this long-legged girl who is simply the dearest, and my heart tells me that things are going to change drastically. and change soon.
and that’s when my phone goes off. a text from the loved boy who tells me he’s been working on the house tonight, readying it for me to come in a few months. i think about his cheery morning texts letting me know how much i’m loved every single day. i think about the flowers decorating the kitchen table (has anyone kept track of how many flowers i’ve received in these short three months?!). i think about what i told a best a few months ago (which turned into one of the many reasons i said “yes”) — “i see and understand God’s heart and love towards me more than ever before through the way he [josiah] treats me.”
and you better believe that i’m going to miss things and people, and that i’m a tiny bit sad at the idea of saying goodbye to my office of [almost] four years, but mostly i’m excited. and you would be too. i’m going to be adventuring through life with the best, best, best.
don’t you wish you were coming along?
Yes. I do. I do wish. But I’m glad this is YOUR adventure and I love it =)
Yes, the bittersweet — so don’t mind me when I wax a bit melancholy. The excitement and joy hasn’t waned in my heart for you and your dear boy — this is something I have prayed for and am standing in amazement at God’s ability to bless exceedingly abundantly beyond everything we ask or think. Yes, I’m truly excited.
And yes, I’m feeling some sorrow, too. The yellow bedroom without you, the bird cage chandelier, the blue shelves. The routine morning coffee, the check in each afternoon at the end of the workday. One more chapter for this mom to close. Guess I’m not quite used to it yet.
But now there is one more to open. So, let’s look ahead! And I am doing that, don’t be mistaken, with great anticipation and gladness.
But don’t mind me if I drag my feet every once in a while to savor each moment in a futile attempt to hold onto it somehow. I know very well there is no holding onto it. But there may still be some moments of attempting. Silly me…
This has been a wonderful season — sharing daily life with my Louissa Elaine. I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful and precious and special girl. Absolutely, you will be missed — so very much.
Love you, little girlie girl.
precious-both your post and your mom’s. i echo lore… so excited