today i took a walk. i actually walked yesterday as well. it was lovely then. i could see my mountains off in the distance. i decided long ago that i would never want to live in the mountains, but to be able to see them is wonderful.
i couldn’t see them today. it was overcast and rather lonesome out and all i could think was, “i miss him.” i would love to have him still here — i would love to talk to him again. we didn’t talk often, but every few months while we passed each other in the hall or bumped into each other at an event we’d stand (or sit) and talk for awhile. we would talk of our likes and dislikes, what we found miserable and what we loved, and of course, we would talk about my feet. we always talked about my feet — really we talked about how i disliked them and he would always ask, “why, if you don’t like them so much, do you insist on wearing sandals six months out of the year?” it’s not that i dislike my feet (they really are perfectly fine feet), but i do so like his mom’s feet, which he always thought was weird.
i had a dream the other night and he was there with us. it was so real that i woke up a bit confused. he was laughing at me (as he always was) and wondering when i had grown up (the last few times i saw him he always remarked on how old i had gotten). he had bought a new belt so gave me his promised old one with the big belt buckle. i simply adored him for it.
today i took a walk. and missed him so very much.