bags are packed and some have left already.
my first semester: over.
today i had to pack my two suitcases, clear off my shelves, and sort through all my papers from these last three months.Â i have two boxes in the basement here with huge scrawling handwritten letters that spell my name, “sinclair” on each.Â they hold pictures and knick-knacks that will be pulled out again in three weeks and be reset up.Â i’ll be moving to a new room and will have new roommates.Â my seat will change in the lecture hall and i won’t be the middle of the “cody sandwich” anymore.Â i’ll be coming back and will have to adjust to all the changes.
i hate change.
i feel like these last three months have been one huge reality checkÂ for me.Â i feel like these last three months have proved to show me all the filth that still resides in my heart.Â i feel like these last three months haveÂ shown meÂ my need for Him.Â i feel like these last three months have taught me of my incompetence and need to rely on Him.
after these three months i hate so much about me, i’m so disgusted by what i see, and am so overwhelmedÂ by the love and grace He still shows me.Â after these three months i’m amazed at His faithfulness towards me.
i fell asleep last night holding my family picture.Â i can’t wait to see them.