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why i’m here

if you asked me if i’ve been learning anything, i would probably tell you that i have. if you asked me what i’ve learned, i would probably look at you with a blank stare and not know what to say. sure, i sit in lectures five hours everyday and hear things about what it means to be in Christ, we’ve dissected Colossians and 1 Corinthians, have heard three lectures on prayer, and are currently sitting through a class called, “The Progress of Redemption.”

after writing all that, i feel like i should have heaps to tell you about what the Lord has been showing me, but i don’t. at times i feel like i have so much being thrown at me that i don’t have enough time to really think and apply it to my personal life. but it’s not because they don’t give me enough time — i just don’t choose to spend my time wisely.

and that’s something i’m learning how to do.

we’re reading a book on prayer and i’ve heard a lady talk on prayer for three hours now. and i can’t tell you how convicting it is. prayer is supposed to be a major part of my life and i’m afraid it isn’t. prayer is about adoring Him, about confessing my sins, it’s about thanking Him, it’s about spending time with Him, it’s about having a conversation with Him.

and i’m learning how to do that.

“Be still and know that I am God.” that’s a well known verse that, in my mind, should accompany a picture or card in a Christian bookstore displaying the beauty of nature. i know those words well and yet, haven’t ever really thought of the importance of them. every sunday morning i see them on our wall, here in school, as we “prepare our hearts for our time of worship.”

i’m busy — always have something to do and something to think about. i’m never still. i never wait to hear from Him. i do all the talking in the five minutes i slate out to make all my requests and then have the audacity to be frustrated when i feel like i never hear from Him. Bible passages never jump out at me, no one ever says anything and i think, “that’s a sign!”, and i never feel like a certain thought came to my mind because the Holy Spirit placed it there.

so perhaps i am learning. and i’m learning that there are some things i thought i had down and don’t.

yeah, it’s fun. : )

3 thoughts on “why i’m here

  1. Louissa-

    Mom and I are in Orlando, FL. I’m thinking of you, and miss you so much! Glad to hear that you are having fun, being challenged, and being a blessing to the folks there.

    Much love,
    Dad

  2. Goodness it’s fun to get an e-mail from you! I really and truly hadn’t expected one! You sound like such a busy girl these days… I will pray for wisdom for you; for time to process the stuff you’re hearing and to hear the things He wants to speak to you.

    I love you so, as do two little munchkins who think their Aunt Weesa is something truly special; and a big guy who is missing an extra worship leader and someone he can call on for anything and everything! 🙂

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