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the look.

you know the look? the one that tells you in the space of one second that the person giving it thinks you’re crazy, out of your mind, obnoxious, overwhelming, scary, and quite possibly annoying?  yes, that look.  i find that i have a tendency to provoke the look quite often.

i was there in a cramped elevator full of quiet smelly strangers.  our eyes were all fixed intently on watching the number go higher knowing with each change we were that much closer to our freedom from the stuffy confined space we found ourselves in.  my phone jingled — text had just come in.  “someone’s got a blackberry,” a woman muttered recognizing the sound.  “it’s me!” i gladly volunteered.  i held up my lovely pink & white phone for all to see as i said, “isn’t it sooooo pretty?”  the woman just gave me the look while everyone else remained silent.

i brought a friend to a new mexican place in town.  i stood on one side of the counter as the worker stood on the other asking if i wanted this kind of salsa or that kind of cheese or would i like some sour cream with that as well?  rather excitedly i asked, “can i really get guacamole with that?”  she nodded yes.  “oooh!  i just love this place!” i exclaimed while yes,  i’m afraid to say, clutching my hands to my heart.  she gave me the look and replied dryly, “i can tell.”

surrounded by faces i thought i knew i yelled into a cell phone that wasn’t mine (or my conversation to be yelling into) and hugged every neck i could get and pranced about to greet more faces and then noticed the quiet girl standing right there who i’d never seen before.  i introduced myself by name and then knowing she had observed my shouting and prancing and laughing and hugging felt the need to add, “i’m really not a freak all the time.”  she nodded her head ever so slowly to politely agree with me while she gave me the look. i knew she would be staying as far away from me as she could the rest of the evening.

i was once told that i shouldn’t treat the world as if it’s my best friend.  people think it odd.

i’m thinking they were right.

4 thoughts on “the look.

  1. No, I disagree… I’m the quiet girl that would probably give you “the look” but secretly wish I could be in love with the world as much as you are. Wish that instead of trying to look all “polished and grownup” whatever that is, I could just sing and laugh and be confidant that the Lord loves me for who I am. You go girl!

  2. I think that the people who give you ‘the look’ are just intimidated and jealous that they don’t have the same confidence and love for life. Your joyful, exuberant spirit is a precious treasure, one that more of us need to have. I for one love your outgoing and friendly nature and am always encouraged by your confidence and joy. Thanks for being you.

  3. hey louissa .. give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough – give the world your best anyway – in the final analysis, it is between you and GOD – it was never between you and them anyway .. never give anyone the authority to determine your level of happiness – you’re a very special person and i bet GOD wants you EXACTLY as you are

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