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goodness.

Frank Sinatra’s “Nice & Easy” played while we drove down that all together too well known road between potsdam and madrid.  i was frustrated with life, i was frustrated with my response to life, i was frustrated at how i’m not doing so well at this thing called life.  i had tears in my eyes as i stared out my window, watching the moon as it seemed to stay by my side.  and i thought, ‘i don’t deserve much to stay by my side.

i have a small circle of confidants.  i’m a quiet person concerning me and most of the time when i’m with any joe schmo,  i try to keep conversation off of my personal life.   but my small circle that knows me… they know me.  they know my faults, they know my mood swings, they know the awfulness that is in me.

i’m not a good friend.  i’m not a very good daughter.  i can sometimes be a horrid sister.  and i’m definitely the most imperfect child my God has ever had.

and yet it’s those friends, my family, my God — those who know me (who really know me) that continue to stay by my side.  and all their goodness to me, the way they care… i don’t deserve it.  but that’s what makes it so overwhelmingly wonderful, isn’t it?

5 thoughts on “goodness.

  1. We all are imperfect in our fleshly ways. We’ve all been where your at at some time or another in our lives, or at least have felt the feelings that you are feeling at this point in time, but as you said, God knows you, your mind, your heart, everything about you. Your family, they will always love you for who you are, and your friends, well….your true friends are those who stand by you no matter what, including the mood thing or whatever it is that may be bothering you at the time. Louissa you do deserve their love, their goodness, the way they care about you because He created you for a purpose here on this earth. You are very special, especially in His eyes, and your very special to more people than you will ever realize, and yes that is what makes it so overwhelmingly wonderful. You’re special in my eyes and my hugs and kisses go out to you this night. May God bless you abundantly with much love, joy, hope, peace, grace and so much more.

    Nancy C.

  2. isn’t it funny that we two post about the same, sort of, thing? wease. honestly? when i sit next to you and tell strangers that i can’t imagine working with anyone else–i mean it. you’re not horrid at all. you’re human and beautiful and broken and perfect and you’re my friend. the only person i’d want to spend eight hours of my day with.

    i’d even end sentences with prepositions for you. wait. i just did.
    i’d even let you end sentences with prepositions. how’s that?

  3. You are an amazing, lovely, cheerful, delightful young woman who has been fearfully made by your God dear daughter of a King. Do you really realize that, no probably not. I don’t think we can realize that magnitude of being the daughter of a King. The Bible say so, so that is the TRUTH!!! Raise your head and look to him who makes all things beautiful. Your are beautiful Louissa, don’t look at what you aren’t look at what you are because of Him. You are a wonderful work in progress, just like the rest of us, We are complete because of what God has done and what He is still doing in us. His Mercies and Grace are new
    every morning, draw upon that my friend. When we take our eyes off God and start to look at us, we will always feel
    these things, put your eyes back onto Him and He will put all things in perspective once again. He loves you because He
    sees you as His and that is good enough for Him so let it be for you dear friend. Your a special girl and I love you.

  4. What refreshing openness! What transparency! We go through so much in life. Our brokenness is when God transforms. We all have our times of feeling inadequate, and sometimes we wonder “where are we going” – “what is my purpose”, but God clearly says He has a plans for welfare and peace and to give youhope.

    Although you may have those down times (as we all do) and times when you think, what kind of friend am I, but others don’t think the way you think they do and perhaps they are thinking the same thing at times that you are (sometimes our own insecurities are our own worst enemy) (that thinking that is the battlefield of the mind), but our friends stand by us. Hopefully, we can all be gracious enough to know that there are going to be days when we are not at our best, and God’s grace is sufficient, and He covers us, and then…..there are those times when we have to apologize ( I don’t like that part) (and I don’t like that I have gotten to that point), but I am human and err.

    Thank the Lord that He is so forgiving.

    God put special friends in our lives, and, as we grow in different ways, we can say remember when I was….., and they will say yes….do You remember when I….(laugh and chuckles down the road for our silliness).

    Friends are special, and He knows who we need in our lives and so many people are in our lives for different reasons. Different friends, different times, and He put those friends there and they love us in all of our inadequacies, with all of our faults, for they see the beauty God sees.

    You know, perhaps you don’t realize what you bring into others lives that you don’t even know, nor call close friend. You have touched peoples lives often. It is what God has made you to be- a giver of joy from your heart even on those days when you feel like you don’t have any more to give. You are lovely, and a joy to me, and I love you, dear friend….Sometimes, you don’t know what you offer so many others at times, but you do.

    What about that great smile to others when they are down or are feeling low. Maybe it was a day when you forced that smile, but it lifted someone else, or what about the day you caringly helped someone with a project when they felt like they just couldn’t do it anymore or were frustrated, or that person needed your voice on the line and God chose you to minister to them, and maybe you didn’t think it was ministering, because it was natural (a gift), and what about mission trips in your own area and away, and how you show God’s love to others. Hey, guess what! We are not always going to show that joyful side. Let’s be real, and it is okay.

    Our thoughts are not always perfect, are they!!! Sometimes are thinking is stinking, but God knows our heart, and He loves us so. Thank God for our best friend (God) who knows us so intimately and forgives us and loves us no matter what.

    He knows us full well, doesn’t He! I think you are awesome, and it does not matter that those are the closest know you more. I know you, and you have more often than you know cheered me when I was weary and tired and felt like there was not a smile to be had in me, and I felt like I wanted to go home to Jesus.

    Sometimes, miraculously, a smile does more than you know. There are those quietly watching and praying and loving you for who you are as I hope you pray for me (all of us in all of our imperfectins)

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