oak trees.

have you ever eaten pretty chocolate? i could hardly bring myself to break the bar that’s beside me after seeing the lovely design on top of the dark chocolate goodness. but knowing how wonderful it would be, i decided to do it. the bar is broken. and being eaten.

so i eat my chocolate and listen to songs about giving up coffee & cigarettes, selling pianos & guitars, flushing booze & bad habits down the drain — thinking that in doing so, all problems would dissipate, but realizing that one must quit you (whoever you is) in order to not feel so blue. i wasn’t blue, but after listening to this melancholy tune i can’t help but be. really, the answer is to quit that song in order to not be blue. i’ll have to tell michelle featherstone that i found her answer.

and so i eat my chocolate, listen to songs that make one blue, and think about oak trees and when the best time for planting is. as in all metaphors concerning oak trees, the best time to plant was yesterday. but many times, the many oaks in our lives aren’t planted when they’re supposed to.

i’m finding that sometimes i decide or do or realize too late. i’m finding that many times actually, i realize that what should’ve happened yesterday, hasn’t taken place. decisions that should have been made, revelations of more of my humanity and seeing growth in those areas, saying the right thing at the right time — it doesn’t always happen when it should.

i mess things up. i’m not blind to the fact and many times i spend… well, far too long berating myself for how i could have avoided certain situations, how stupid i am for having flaws, for sinning, for doing everything the wrong way, but after years of hating on myself, i’ve realized that that doesn’t help. at all.

i was told that the second best time to plant an oak tree is today. the same goes for you and me.

sometimes life requires a deep breath. sometimes it requires a decision to plant that oak today that should’ve been planted yesterday in order to avoid what one is going through at that moment. and sometimes it requires a focus that says i’ll forget the yesterdays, i’ll plant my oak today, and i’ll press on tomorrow.

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