there are a few things that i just don’t understand…

1.  why people who are trying to be musicians think it’s cool to loosen the strap of their guitar or bass so much that the body of the instrument lays against their knees.  do you know how uncool you look trying to strum chords/pluck notes when your fingers have a hard time reaching the strings?  maybe i shouldn’t say anything — after all, i’m just a pianist and saxophonist (okay. i’m not actually a “saxophonist” since i rather rot at that, but i can toot enough notes out to play in our churches holiday orchestra every christmas) and probably don’t know anything about this.

but i can’t get around the fact that i know how ridiculous it looks and that i’ve been told by those in my family (who are guitarist and bassist) that it’s dreadful technique.  so do me a favor and tighten your strap.

2.  why it takes frozen apples so long to thaw.  what started out as a “oh, all i have to do is make the apple pie filling and pop them in the oven” has turned into “oh, all i have to do is wait until Jesus comes for my apples to thaw, not get any sleep tonight, and at that point when dead people start rising from graves and trumpets start making such a racket we won’t care about the apple pies for thanksgiving and my staying up all night will be pointless.”

please, just thaw!

3.  why cookies never taste as good when you make them.  i didn’t even eat hardly any dough this time.  but there they sit, i’ve eaten half a cookie, and am not very interested in finishing it.  and i thought i was in the mood for cookies.

and for that matter, why getting into bed never feels as good when you make it or toast is never buttered quite right when you butter it, and a movie is never as much fun to watch when you pick out which film to view.

4.  why my phone is silent when i want it to be busy and busy when i want it to be silent.

5.  and why football has become a staple part of a holiday that’s all about thankfulness.  it’s fun — i enjoy it, but i have always had a hard time seeing the connection.  and it must be much harder to practice thankfulness when your team has just lost, right?

or why we stuff ourselves.  i’m never thankful for the food after committing my once a year sin of gluttony.  i moan and groan about having to move and clear dishes from a table after putting more food into my stomach than one does at the flap-jack-attack at our local diner.

and i’m sure there is more, but i’ll try to finish my pies now.