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“no heavy internalizing allowed” night

i spent twenty minutes last night furiously typing away.  i clicked the publish button and closed my laptop.  five minutes later i reopened it and went it to delete the post.  really, i am a bit melancholy of late, but must all my posts reek of wonderings and confusion and heaviness?  those aren’t the only things i experience in my daily life.  they can’t be.  if only i could remember what the other things are…  just joking.

tonight is a “no melancholy” night.  so on to those other things.

1. i absolutely ADORE this child.

this is her popular “CHEESE!” face whenever a camera is pointed at her.  how can you not instantly fall in love with such a little person so full of personality?  i don’t think i can express how much i love this peculiar two year old who prefers adult companionship over tots her own size.  spend some time with her.  after five minutes you’ll know what i’m talking about.

2. it’s cold & white.  forget that.  it’s just dark.  i know a sun exists somewhere — really, i do!  but nothing about my world the last few weeks would tell you it’s so.  i do believe mr. sun forgot about us north country folk and i think that was quite unthoughtful.  BUT the good news is that someday he’ll make an appearance.  and what a glorious day that will be!

3. if someone can tell me how to properly pronounce the book title, Tess of D’Ubervilles, it would be most appreciated.  after unwrapping it on christmas morning, i passed the book around through the hands of people i would like to think are highly educated to receive an answer.  nobody knew how to pronounce it.  so right now i sound all the more like a north country hick when i answer the question of what i’m reading by saying, ‘Tess of Doo-ber-vills.’  yes, that sounds not correct.

4. my family is… a strange sort of people.  tonight i made dinner and sat around a crammed kitchen table with only my family (well, two of them were staple 1942 add-ons, but that’s just family for us).  for forty-five minutes when we weren’t discussing the side salad of greens, craisins, and cheese (really, it’s very simple but the fruit was just too much for some) our conversation revolved around something that you would hear at any table — mixing the sound of worship teams, decibel levels, choir mics, and such things that go along with that sort of topic.  very normal, right?  somehow we find that interesting… i’m still trying to figure out how.

5. i’m twenty-one but sometimes i don’t feel very much my age.  all the younger girls in the house think i’m hilarious and love being with me, but i’m just wondering: at what age must you grow out of finding 5th grade humor jokes funny?

2 thoughts on ““no heavy internalizing allowed” night

  1. Hello, I am just a visitor who happened to stumble upon your lovely blog. Tess is quite depressing, FYI, so be sure to grab some tissues. Anyway, according to the adaptations I believe it is pronounced “Derber-villes”. As in demolition derby. Don’t know if it’s correct, but it’s how they say it on TV. 🙂
    Hope you don’t mind my intrusion!
    ~m

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