i think i’ll steal a line from a good friend: i didn’t think it would be this hard.
and i feel rather lame because of that. most people leave. most people go away from family and friends at some point. most people go to school (and for longer than this!). but i’ve never heard of someone being such a miserable mess because of it.
i just have to tell myself that it’s a season of life and someday this season will end. it will be hard at first — i know that — but it will be good. i’m determined to get past the “being lonely and hating my life stage” and get something out of this experience. and i’m determined that it will be more than just a good european experience, but that the Lord will be in the center of it all.
tomorrow is going to be miserable and traveling for twenty hours by myself will be even more miserable. i never really wanted to leave. i’ve never had the urge to get out of the house and stand on my own two feet. i’ve never felt the need to prove to others that i’m a woman and can handle life on my own. and i’m not ashamed to say that that’s not who i am and that’s not a part of my personality… there’s nothing wrong with it, but it does make it rather difficult when i have to say goodbye to my dear, dear family.
it could be so difficult because in the back of my mind there are questions concerning after these six months. will i ever come back home and be like this again? i keep telling myself that i’ll return to the north country, but will i? what’s after?
but i’m a survivor — i’m gonna make it.
since i am going to be a bit lonely and won’t be able to keep up on everyone else’s blogs (i’ll have access to my school email account on the school computers but won’t have any other access to the web) you should seriously consider keeping in contact with me with my very cool (and very european) SCHOOL EMAIL ADDRESS:
louissa_sinclair[at]bodenseehof.deÂ (obviously you would use the “@” symbol.Â i just don’t want to get any spam.)
it could be as simple as saying “hello” and “goodbye” or you could just get in the habit of emailing me what you’ve written on your blog and i’ll send a quick reply back and it will be my comment and i won’t feel that far away from everyone. sounds lovely, doesn’t it?
in case you’re interested in actually writing me real mail:
Postfach 29 33
and if for some strange reason you find yourself inclined to send me something:
a note from the school regarding packages: Watch out! New laws make it very important that those sending packages to you write “NCV” (no commercial value) for the value of the package. If you do not do this, the package recipient will have to pay a substantial tax.
and don’t send me any medications. it’s against the law. 🙂
well, i guess that’s all.
tomorrow i fly away. but i’ll come back and nothing will have changed, right?