i’m not sure what it is. maybe it’s the cool evening that speaks of even colder evenings to come. or maybe it’s all this talk about Germany and my leaving the home that means the world to me. or maybe it’s the fact that i’ve only talked to these two people on the phone since coming home. or maybe it’s all the time i just spent looking at my pictures with the faces and places that i love so dearly. or maybe it was the long walk with my sister, with a wrap afterwards, and now sitting here on the porch together – she on the phone and i on the computer (it’s how it should be). or maybe it’s all these crazy things put together that has me feeling so nostalgic.
it’s tonight that i’m having a hard time taking a deep breath. it’s tonight that i’m trying to tell myself that if everything keeps going like it is, i’ll have to be okay all by myself on the other side of the world. it’s tonight that i’m reminding myself that in those six months not everything in my little world can change that much. it’s tonight that i’m telling myself to forget all my insecurities since i know He has everything under control and that He’ll take care of me.
i don’t know what i would do if i didn’t have my Jesus.
trust in the Lord with all your heart
in all your ways acknowledge Him
He shall direct Your paths