Louissa Tabolt

selfish?  me?  no, never.

distracted?  why would you think such a thing?

prideful?  now we’ve gone too far.

i’m at Bible school.  the place where one is supposed to be meditating on the goodness of God, learning more about Him, and learning what it is to really love others with His love.  funny that i’ve never felt more self-absorbed in my life.

i’m at Bible school.  the place where ones focus is supposed to be perfect — it’s never supposed to waiver.  apparently most who come here feel like these six months are the best of their life.  i’ve never struggled more with distractions and really submitting my desires to Him.

i’m at Bible school.  the place where most become self-righteous and prideful.  the only difference with me is that i came here with my prideful attitude and it hasn’t gone away.  but then again, i think i had a conversation with some right before i came here and pegged the root of this problem to be something else: insecurity.  but that hasn’t changed either.

no, i’m not depressed and i’m not being emo.  at times you suddenly realize different weaknesses you have and what needs some work and that’s me right now.  but that’s okay.  He knows i’m not perfect and i don’t have to try to be for Him.  and i know that He’ll continue to mold and shape me.

i’m outta here for the weekend.  outreach, here we come!